I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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