his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
