Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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