i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
