Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
