She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
