Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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