soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize