You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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