handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
