Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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