she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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