Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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