Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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