let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
