That's when you crack a 10am beer
Farmville is her only friend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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