Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
