Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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