I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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