you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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