RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he was CRYING into my vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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