This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
