Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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