Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
