Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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