I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
