What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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