Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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