I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
