I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
