I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
