My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize