I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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