Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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