For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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