You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize