I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This toilet bowl is my home.
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