If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
