It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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