Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
