You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
