I wish my penis had an off switch
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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