um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize