DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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