We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
