So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
