he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
