Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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