at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
