I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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