I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
