I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The air was thick with penises
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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