I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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