she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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