no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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