He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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