It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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