i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
