it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm at about main and main street
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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